I went to Ikea with a friend yesterday. It was very pleasant at first - good company and neither of us cared if we were going the wrong way or stopping to look at random things we didn't need, but as the day wore on, my brain seemed to frazzle - whose doesn't in there?!
As we were sitting having lunch, I kept forgetting what we were talking about and I was with someone who knows and cares and doesn't give a hoot if I lose track. So I could confidently say, 'I've forgotten/I'm lost/Where were we' and not worry.
The scene in Ellen where she shouts, 'I'm gay!' sprung to mind and I had an overwhelming urge to stand up and shout, 'I've got ADHD!' I contained myself, but only because I got a fit of the giggles.
We actually left without buying what we needed because we lost track of time and didn't get to the checkouts in time to do all the sorting out at the end, lugging boxes off shelves and arranging delivery. So we have to boldly go again later in the week. Ho-hum.
Today, I decided to follow my desire to just not bother hiding this part of me and I found myself telling a complete stranger. It worked out okay. I was at the desk in a play centre with my son and the cashier remarked that he was 'full of bounce'. I laughed and said it wasn't surprising as I have ADHD. It was a really positive moment as she looked at me with empathy then remarked that she has OCD. Apart from the acronym overload, it was a moment of understanding, compassion and solidarity and I'm really glad I told her.
Of course later, as I tried to pay the bill, she had to call me back to give me my cash card as I'd walked away without it. The spark of 'fitting in' in the world that I'd felt was extinguished, but what I had in its place was a smile and a nod from someone who understood.
Onwards and upwards!
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